The stuff I like doing, the people I enjoy being around, and the type of chair I like to sit in…
I realize the areas where I’m deficient–from self-actualization, let’s call it–are mostly solvable with ease, little money, and little stress.
The problem lies in not knowing what tf I want, or where tf I’m headed.
Also a problem: wanting everything and wanting to go everywhere…
…..
A few years back, some relatives suggested I get checked for autism or adhd or something–they just knew something was wrong with me–and turns out I did get diagnosed with adhd and in one fell swoop all of my varied interests and passions were explained…
Or were they?
Longer I’m alive, I’m seeing how having a broad scope of interests can actually serve a person (or business, etc.) well for creativity and innovation.
Now, at the end of the day, the mail still needs to get opened, and the emails need to be returned.
And doing that or delegating it but making sure it gets DONE is also necessary for longevity.
But I can’t stress enough the value in doubling down on the things you’re interested in, pursuing them, buying books about them, enrolling in a course to learn more…
Because you don’t see the end of the story yet, you don’t know the twists and turns ahead, and you’re going to serve your future self the best if you start diving into the interests and desires that nag at you now and have done so for a long time–for some reason currently unknown–that will pay off big time for you later.
Trust your desires (not if they’re illegal, there’s no longevity in that).
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For some reason when I’m at the gym, trying to get buff ‘n rich, I do this role play thing in my head.
I know I’m kind of a weird dude, but it isn’t LARP’ing, if that’s what you’re wondering…
But my gym has this indoor track that loops around the entire facility, enwrapping all the weights, protein powder bros, big butt baddies squatting in those butt crack pants (you know the ones I mean?), and other gym culture you don’t make eye contact with but instead keep your eyes affixed to the straight and narrow, you good little soul…
And on a brief side note: since Vegas is either sweltering hot or frigidly cold, with minimal middle ground, I believe this indoor, climate-controlled track encircling said fish tank of hormones and longing hopes, to be quite architecturally impressive…
So as I walk the track, I intersperse light jogging or fast walking with ab stuff or muscle stuff, but never any butt stuff.
Just mostly I do arms and the occasional squats when I feel a pang of guilt in my chest for not being more “balanced”.
And for some reason—I don’t know if it’s to avoid wretched boredom or because my mind needs to dwell on something positive to avoid going down dark corridors, I envision…
That I…
Am the King and Queen’s head general…
…….
…..training for battle, or you know, in case the King and Queen need to send me on a special mission.
And as embarrassing as it is to divulge stuff like this, I am doing it for your betterment.
Only because if I tap into something powerful, my personality is such that I really love letting others know about it.
Who knows, maybe I’m crazy…
But this little roleplay I do, or envisioning, or raw-minding–whatever you want to call it–it conjures a vision that summons attitudes, thoughts, and effort, that spews forth at a much higher output than I’d be able to accomplish otherwise.
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When I was a kid living in the countryside, we used to burn our trash in burn barrels.
Yes, that was actually legal in the 1980’s where I lived.
For the big stuff that wasn’t burnable, we threw it in the back of my dad’s old Ford truck and hauled it to the dump.
Fast forward to today–now I’m partners in a business doing the same thing for customers, that I used to do with my family as a kid (minus the incineration of course).
Although I may occasionally lose my wits and jest that I have an affinity for las latinas locas, the truth is:
No me gustan.
Reality is, a queen in any form–latina, robot, or otherwise–is initially a buzz that quickly becomes like a buzzer that doesn’t turn off.
To quote the Bible, I’d rather live on the corner of a roof, than with a quarrelsome woman.
I’m not kidding, that’s in the Bible!
I want my daughters to be confident, and strong, and savvy.
But they need to keep that shit in check too, and not get an inflated ego about them (as I have of myself, just kidding I hate myself, just kidding I love myself, just kidding! just kidding!! remember that SNL skit?).
I asked a friend for advice about my three young daughters:
You have teenager girls man, how do you handle them?
And he replied:
I know they may not always tell me what’s really going on, so I have to just teach them how to make good decisions, so if they end up in a situation I wouldn’t want them to be in, hopefully they’ll know what to do.
I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically what he said.
I think the power in his method is that it kills many birds with one stone.
1) it admits that your kids are gonna eff up and that’s ok and that it’s normal;
2) it doesn’t encourage passivity, on the contrary, more creativity, thought, and effort on the part of the parent, most likely; and
3) it teaches your kids independence and wise decision making–ahead of time, before they need it in the trenches (hell yeah, I had a natural #3 this time)…
So whether you have a daughter or are a daughter or hate your father and your mother and their daughters which would be your sisters, I hope this may nudge you closer to a bit of wisdom, in one way or another.
If anything, teach her to be a Queen the people love, adore, and respect.
So usually I have few political opinions because “know thyself”, as it were, and I realize I’m often in la-la land, uniformed (especially for a lawyer), and begin to feel anxious when expressing an opinion and sense others are angry at me…
That being said, all this fucking around and finding out (FAFO) going on in Los Angeles and around the country, is getting to me for a few reasons:
1) As a good friend pointed out, I’m usually the one FAFO, so there’s a bit of jealousy involved.
2) I already love Nevada for not taxing me like California does, but it still hurts to watch hard-working immigrant-owned businesses in LA and other cities being trashed by bored losers.
3) There should be a number three for that sense of balance and rounding-out we all enjoy, but I got nothin’, sorry.
As a dude who struggles with anxiety, I’ve researched a lot of tools, books, techniques, etc. for dealing with it.
One of the best books I’ve ever read about anxiety is a book called Feeling Great by Dr. David Burns.
He explains the reason many of his patients “hold on” to their anxiety is because they have actual grief about letting it go.
Not sure about you, but personally, this was really revolutionary for me:
It’s not necessarily fear of success (although you may have some of that too) that holds you back, so much as your grief of letting go of all those habitual, anxious thoughts that have once “protected” you thus far in life, that now no longer serve you.
Anxiety served up in a tiny shot glass can bring us back to our senses in certain situations and help us get our crap together.
But it’s also true that when you have too much anxiety, it has the opposite effect, and shrinks your boner or whatever the case may be…
So it’s paradoxical that in order to feel more calm, it helps when I address the sadness andgrief of letting go of those age-old thoughts of terror I not only befriended along the way, but somehow made my lifelong besties.
Now, only you can ascertain for yourself which straws in your anxiety-nest are the ones you’re unnecessarily holding on to because you’re too sad to let them go…
So I leave it to you to decide what to do next, but I certainly invite you to consider throwing this tactic at your own anxiety, and see what happens.
I’d be surprised if it doesn’t dial down your anxiety a little, if only just by 10%.
In shameless pursuit of getting buff ‘n rich, I went to the gym today.
The thing about the gym is there’s this whole culture there, and if you’re overly analytical and/ or self-conscious like me, when you go to the gym by yourself you want to avoid eye contact so you don’t get caught up in the whirls and eddies of bro and baddie gym vibes.
I’ve been out of the gym habit, for a variety of reasons, but have slowly been making it a routine again.
Anyway, so the whole point of this little tale is, I wanted to take a brief moment and remind everyone that it’s good to “go human” every once in a while.
What I mean is, the older and divorced’r I get, the easier it is to just sort of turn inward when I’m not with my daughters or working, and tell the world to eff off because it’s been bothering me long enough already.
But that’s not really a healthy mindset, and that’s part of the reason for starting up at the gym again–forced human contact (it’s not that bad when you start to get used to it) is good for the soul, and you may just find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Like today for example, after my workout I met a couple walking out to the parking lot at the same time as me, and we got to shootin’ the breeze…
I asked them about their business and told them I liked their branding (on his t-shirt, and on their truck), and long story short, we got to talking about potentially exchanging business services or joint venturing in the future.
And even if they simply turn out to be new friendly faces I can wave to the next I see them…
It’s a win.
In any case, for a guy who spends his time immersed in a digital world, today was a really helpful reminder of the opportunity for face-to-face serendipity.
But this isn’t a Luddite-rant, because as it turns out, mastering the digital world can multiply your business exponentially (it happened to mine when I first cracked a few little secrets, circa 2015).
So to avail yourself of the face-to-face serendipity, that’s on you. I am merely your Gandalf, pointing you in the right direction, young hobbit.
But when it comes to the digital marketing stuff, now there’s a world that is actually quite predictable, easy to measure, and easy to multiply…
Has fear, worry, or confusion ever stopped your business progress in its tracks?
This is the result of an overly-analytical mind, and perhaps part of the reason some smart people stay broke no matter what they do, and why there is a surprising number of dumb millionaires.
Personally, I have been smart and broke, dumb and broke, but have yet to count myself amongst the “dumb and millionaire” category.
But the category does exist, and you have to wonder why.
I suspect it is because what most see as “dumb” (no education, low class status, rule-breakers) actually has little to do with financial success, and in many cases serves as a competitive advantage.
I realize the “tricks” for financial success vary greatly and are as multitudinous as the number of beautiful latinas one might find scattered across the beaches of Mazatlan, but in reading, studying, and school-of-hard-knocks-experience in my own business has shown, there tends to be a few common ingredients:
Solve a problem in a way that makes people love you
Be prolific
Get the boring shit done (eliminate the need for it, farm it out, or suck it up and do it yourself)
Don’t ever stop
Getting past even just one of these hurdles can be a nightmare…this is why business is hard.
In my business, I can help you out with #2, that is:
I can help you be more prolific by reaching more of your audience, by using well-researched and targeted website and brand messaging.
